Moral dilemma, help would greatly appreciated!

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speedmstr
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Moral dilemma, help would greatly appreciated!

Post by speedmstr »

Before I talk at length about this topic, I would just like to make it clear that I do not support the oppression, objectification or sexual exploitation of women. Although this statement admittedly sounds half baked. I would not have written about it, at some length, if I did not have any conviction in my beliefs stated above.

Allow me to explain myself a little better. (Please forgive the whinny/indecisive/ desperate/ pathetic tone.) I work towards making myself a better person each day, hence why I want to deal with this issue.
I have recently found myself increasingly drawn to the idea of spending time with an escort/prostitute. (yes I do use protection and keep my personal hygiene in check so please don't lecture me on it) And I feel not only disappointed with myself, but also conflicted. I like the whole experience leading up to a 'punt' to be every exciting. It fun to organize and hear how she will apparently make all my fantasies come true and travel to her place.

I'm full of anticipation. But in my visits to escorts (so far), I feel a bit disappointed, not with the sexual side, but more basic human interaction.

Let me make myself clear, I'm not just there for any fun that may occur between two consenting adults, rather I have been seduced by the seedy world of escorting; I'm fascinated by how it works, why people do it and how they get away with it. I want to get to know the girl and have a casual, fun and genuine experience with her. But the intimacy, or lack there of, feels so mechanical and forced.

In fairness I can't blame an escort for being mechanical and not showing much emotion, I'm fully aware that many independent escorts choose to sell themselves. But I'm also aware that a majority resent the fact that they are used by men as nothing more than sex objects.

By visiting a Escort am I not perpetuating this belief?

I do not expect forgiveness or understanding. (yes you can judge me as negatively as you want)

I'm simply trying to understand why I am willing to undermine my core beliefs?

Does this mean that they are not a deep seated as I first thought they were?

Or I'm I willing to bend my own rules, because of the primal nature of sex and lust?

Any Thoughts on my dilemma would be greatly appreciated.

PS: As a brit currently living abroad, (in a country where women are not treated that well) could it be that it just normal for the escorts to lack emotion, because I've heard that a majority of escorts back in the UK, are great at providing emotional intimacy, even if it is artificial.
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Re: Moral dilemma, help would greatly appreciated!

Post by SexySurgical »

Physical urges trumping morals & thoughts is what religions tend have their core business in 8)

You happen to be in East Asia?
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Re: Moral dilemma, help would greatly appreciated!

Post by speedmstr »

so, should I seek a religious opinion? Or go to a therapist to talk through my problems?

For reference I'm currently working and studying in the Caribbean.
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Re: Moral dilemma, help would greatly appreciated!

Post by Rommeltje »

How much are you willing to pay for an escort? I can imagine the 'cheap' ones, and those who have pimps aren't doing what they're doing very willingly. They're either forced into it or are doing it because they really need the money. There's no reason for them to do anything more than they have to, which in most cases is just getting the guy off.

However, escorts from higher end agencies (preferably ran by a women) may actually do it just because they can. They've consciously made the decision to become a sex worker, and there's really nothing wrong with that.

In the latter case, there's no reason for you to feel bad about it. In the former case, however, you've gotta ask yourself which is more important to you: your principles or your sexual needs.

I don't suppose you've got much of a choice in the Carribean, though.

Disclaimer: I come from a country where prostitution is (mostly) legal. (Which doesn't mean that there's no exploitation of women, btw.)
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Re: Moral dilemma, help would greatly appreciated!

Post by speedmstr »

Rommeltje wrote:How much are you willing to pay for an escort? I can imagine the 'cheap' ones, and those who have pimps aren't doing what they're doing very willingly. They're either forced into it or are doing it because they really need the money. There's no reason for them to do anything more than they have to, which in most cases is just getting the guy off.

However, escorts from higher end agencies (preferably ran by a women) may actually do it just because they can. They've consciously made the decision to become a sex worker, and there's really nothing wrong with that.

In the latter case, there's no reason for you to feel bad about it. In the former case, however, you've gotta ask yourself which is more important to you: your principles or your sexual needs.

I don't suppose you've got much of a choice in the Carribean, though.

Disclaimer: I come from a country where prostitution is (mostly) legal. (Which doesn't mean that there's no exploitation of women, btw.)

Thanks for the advice Romm. I suppose you're right about the 'cheap' sex workers. A majority of folk in the Caribbean, have no good qualifications or training and do seem to struggle to make ends meet, so I guess the opportunity to make fast cash (by giving a guy a 'quickie' is somewhat appealing) and I guess this explains their detachment, for them it is more about money than pleasure.

I feel as though my morals are more important to me. So I will stop seeing women whom I believe are exploited, it may be hard to spot but I guess having a stable of sex workers is not normal, as opposed to independent sex workers.

I guess If I really need some female attention I should seek out a more professional independent escort, who has made the choice herself.
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