Should I seek help for my fetishes???
- greenyrst
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Should I seek help for my fetishes???
I've had my fetishes for as long as I can remember! But I have never been so obsessed with them as I currently am.
As I write this I'm lay in the spare bedroom wearing my motorcycle leathers and gloves!!! I've never slept in them before and have decided to try god knows what my fiancée will say in the morning.
Not a single day passes where I don't fantasise about one of my fetishes. Gloves, protection/crashes, scat. The list seems to keep growing and I'm wondering where it will all end??? I'm fortunate that I have a very understanding partner but I worry that eventually my fetishes will push her away!
I enjoy my fetishes and don't want to stop any of them. Yes some are dangerous and others are frankly disgusting but I enjoy them all but I'm wondering if I should seek professional help for them as I'm now struggling to sleep because I keep waking up thinking about them in the middle of the night!!
Any advice would be welcome.
As I write this I'm lay in the spare bedroom wearing my motorcycle leathers and gloves!!! I've never slept in them before and have decided to try god knows what my fiancée will say in the morning.
Not a single day passes where I don't fantasise about one of my fetishes. Gloves, protection/crashes, scat. The list seems to keep growing and I'm wondering where it will all end??? I'm fortunate that I have a very understanding partner but I worry that eventually my fetishes will push her away!
I enjoy my fetishes and don't want to stop any of them. Yes some are dangerous and others are frankly disgusting but I enjoy them all but I'm wondering if I should seek professional help for them as I'm now struggling to sleep because I keep waking up thinking about them in the middle of the night!!
Any advice would be welcome.
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Re: Should I seek help for my fetishes???
yes!greenyrst wrote:but I'm wondering if I should seek professional help for them
but only if it's a she,and she agrees to wear gloves during the sessions (dont mind to add a few $ for it)
lol,just kidding - ur fetishes are who u are.
period.
- greenyrst
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Re: Should I seek help for my fetishes???
LOLCeramic wrote: but only if it's a she,and she agrees to wear gloves during the sessions (dont mind to add a few $ for it)
lol,just kidding - ur fetishes are who u are.
period.
I know my fetishes are who I am but I'd like to be able to control them rather than them controlling me!
- Rommeltje
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Re: Should I seek help for my fetishes???
Well, it never hurts to go speak to a psychiatrist, of course (except perhaps financially ), even if just to explore whether or not you should seek further therapy.
One thing, though: if they start talking about 'curing' you of your fetishes, run away!
One thing, though: if they start talking about 'curing' you of your fetishes, run away!
- greenyrst
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Re: Should I seek help for my fetishes???
That was my thinking.Rommeltje wrote:Well, it never hurts to go speak to a psychiatrist, of course (except perhaps financially ), even if just to explore whether or not you should seek further therapy.
One thing, though: if they start talking about 'curing' you of your fetishes, run away!
I don't want "curing" I'd just like to be able to control them more.
The best I can manage is about 6 hours sleep before I'm awake and thinking about them again!!!
- Rommeltje
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Re: Should I seek help for my fetishes???
Yeah, but it doesn't even have to be about controlling them - though that may come later. Just talking about it within someone else, an objective party, can be really helpful, I think.
I've been meaning to go ta psychiatrist for a long time now myself. Not because I think there's something wrong with me or because I want help, but just because I would like to be able to really talk to someone about my fetish, to get an outside perspective and so better arrange my own thoughts about it.
One of these days I'm really gonna go.
I've been meaning to go ta psychiatrist for a long time now myself. Not because I think there's something wrong with me or because I want help, but just because I would like to be able to really talk to someone about my fetish, to get an outside perspective and so better arrange my own thoughts about it.
One of these days I'm really gonna go.
- wmowrg
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Re: Should I seek help for my fetishes???
Guys,
Don't seek help, what you think and feel makes you what you are, simple as that. To change or try to change that will only cause you problems. The trick is to learn to live with them and deal with them when they arise. I used to be very similar in what I thought, but over the years, I have learnt that I am what I am and no amount of "therapy" or denial will change that.
The difficulty comes when finding a partner who will love you for what and who you are. Once you achieve this, all your cares will fall away. Easy to say, I know, but think of this ... When you wake up of a morning and first thoughts turn to your particular fetish, lying beside you will be someone who knows, who understands, who willingly participates and as a result, you will not feel alone, empty, strange or abnormal ....
I know that sounds a bit blase but it's true ... If there's someone else in your life, playing, teasing, joking but also participating and understanding what makes you tick then how can that feel wrong .... ?
Answers on a postcard please .... and if you want me to expand further, just ask .....
Don't seek help, what you think and feel makes you what you are, simple as that. To change or try to change that will only cause you problems. The trick is to learn to live with them and deal with them when they arise. I used to be very similar in what I thought, but over the years, I have learnt that I am what I am and no amount of "therapy" or denial will change that.
The difficulty comes when finding a partner who will love you for what and who you are. Once you achieve this, all your cares will fall away. Easy to say, I know, but think of this ... When you wake up of a morning and first thoughts turn to your particular fetish, lying beside you will be someone who knows, who understands, who willingly participates and as a result, you will not feel alone, empty, strange or abnormal ....
I know that sounds a bit blase but it's true ... If there's someone else in your life, playing, teasing, joking but also participating and understanding what makes you tick then how can that feel wrong .... ?
Answers on a postcard please .... and if you want me to expand further, just ask .....
- Rommeltje
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Re: Should I seek help for my fetishes???
Going to a therapist is not necessarily about 'fixing' anything, though. You're going to be thinking about what this fetish means to you no matter what. Talking about it to someone can give you some new insights. If you've got someone to do that with, like a partner or a good friend, great! If not, I don't think it would hurt to go see a professional, someone who's sworn to secrecy and may have some outside perspectives to offer. If you're lucky, they may even have studied sexual behaviour. How interesting would that be?
It's an outdated idea that you only go to a psychiatrist when there's something 'wrong' with you.
It's an outdated idea that you only go to a psychiatrist when there's something 'wrong' with you.
- APC
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Re: Should I seek help for my fetishes???
Hey,
In my opinion, I would suggest you see someone. It's not about removing your kinks, its more about balance. As the old saying goes "everything in moderation" if one thing in your life is controlling almost everything you do, it must be very difficult to go about your daily business. I would suggest a psychologist as opposed to psychiatrist simply because psychology is more about talking and managing problems naturally without the use of medication.
I have seen three different psychologists in my life, one I didn't' like that much, but the other two were great. I didn't see them about my fetish tho, more about my mental state previously. It's great just to have someone to talk to, and if you don't think they are helping you, you can always look to try someone else (they are not all the same).
If some of your fantasies involve you causing or risking considerable harm to yourself, I would strongly suggest you get some help in managing them. Just stop and remind yourself that should one of these extreme fantasises seriously injure or kill you, you may not ever be able to experience the less extreme ones in the future. Is it really worth having one big experience that may very well be your last or enjoying many of the smaller ones well into the future?
If any "expert" perceives your fetishes as a "disorder" I would recommended seeing someone more open minded. However, everything in life has a line that can be crossed, kinks are becoming more mainstream these days and it can be hard to find where the line is that shouldn't be crossed. A professional may be able to assist you in creating those boundaries and allowing you more control of your life.
I recently have been looking to understand more about fetishes, and came to a realization the other day that I probably need to reduce the amount of glove action I have with my partner. I Definitely don't want to stop completely but try to at least have normal sex (no gloves) more often. The reason for this is that by performing an action, you reinforce it in your mind. There was a story I listened to about a guy who got to the point where he could no longer get an erection at all from a women, unless he could see her feet, he wasn't always like this, but it developed over time.
Again it's not about removing all of your fetishes, it's about being in charge of them, being the one that tells your body there is a time and place for that feeling or action. And being that one that decides when a line has been crossed.
Hope this is a help to you and best of luck.
In my opinion, I would suggest you see someone. It's not about removing your kinks, its more about balance. As the old saying goes "everything in moderation" if one thing in your life is controlling almost everything you do, it must be very difficult to go about your daily business. I would suggest a psychologist as opposed to psychiatrist simply because psychology is more about talking and managing problems naturally without the use of medication.
I have seen three different psychologists in my life, one I didn't' like that much, but the other two were great. I didn't see them about my fetish tho, more about my mental state previously. It's great just to have someone to talk to, and if you don't think they are helping you, you can always look to try someone else (they are not all the same).
If some of your fantasies involve you causing or risking considerable harm to yourself, I would strongly suggest you get some help in managing them. Just stop and remind yourself that should one of these extreme fantasises seriously injure or kill you, you may not ever be able to experience the less extreme ones in the future. Is it really worth having one big experience that may very well be your last or enjoying many of the smaller ones well into the future?
If any "expert" perceives your fetishes as a "disorder" I would recommended seeing someone more open minded. However, everything in life has a line that can be crossed, kinks are becoming more mainstream these days and it can be hard to find where the line is that shouldn't be crossed. A professional may be able to assist you in creating those boundaries and allowing you more control of your life.
I recently have been looking to understand more about fetishes, and came to a realization the other day that I probably need to reduce the amount of glove action I have with my partner. I Definitely don't want to stop completely but try to at least have normal sex (no gloves) more often. The reason for this is that by performing an action, you reinforce it in your mind. There was a story I listened to about a guy who got to the point where he could no longer get an erection at all from a women, unless he could see her feet, he wasn't always like this, but it developed over time.
Again it's not about removing all of your fetishes, it's about being in charge of them, being the one that tells your body there is a time and place for that feeling or action. And being that one that decides when a line has been crossed.
Hope this is a help to you and best of luck.
- Rommeltje
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Re: Should I seek help for my fetishes???
Very well said, APC! I agree with every point you make.
I would also like to point out that where I said psychiatrist in my posts, I probably meant psychologist.
I would also like to point out that where I said psychiatrist in my posts, I probably meant psychologist.