Should i give her some new rubber gloves?
- sissygloves
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Should i give her some new rubber gloves?
I've just got back from a walk. And while i was out i bumped a friend washing her car. I was made up to see some rubber gloves. I called over to her and we started to talk. I noticed that the gloves were torn and had holes everywhere. Anyway. at the end of the chat. I offered to give her some new rubber gloves. she said she didnt care about the condition of the gloves. So What do i do. Give her some and say here her say it. or respect the wishes?
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Re: Should i give her some new rubber gloves?
TL;DR. Apply "the golden rule": “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”
This is a good question and I think it can serve as an example of a very important issue that we have to address. I think you should answer the following question with the utmost honesty: Would it be weird if you bought her a pair of gloves? If the answer is yes, then don't do it. Seriously.
The fact is that we have a glove fetish and this is a *sexual* feature of our personality. We must respect other peoples limits in this regard. If we want other people to accept us and our sexuality, we have to accept them and their sexualty as well. We are sexually triggered by gloves, and this is not our fault and there is nothing wrong with it. However, people have boundaries, just as we have boundaries, and if we do not respect other peoples boundaries, then we are violating them. That is the truth. When we become lustful in the moment, for a lack of better words, we tend to blind ourselves to the truth. We commit wishful thinking and we fantasize. Under certain circumstances we can act out our sexuality, but in general we can't. Nobody can. I know exactly how you feel, and I've been in similar situations before.
I look at it like this. I'm not a gay man, but I accept gay men. Yet I do not want to have a gay man violate my boundaries. In the same way, if I want other people to accept me, then I also have to accept them. It's a trade off.
We have to be decent. We have to exercise your social faculties and figure out what is appropriate in the given situation. If you sincerely believe that there is a mutual sexual desire here, and this may be the case, then go ahead and buy her some gloves and start a flirt. However, if this is not the case, then drop it - do not use your friend to satisfy your sexual needs. Using other people to satisfy your lust is also known as "being creepy". Don't be creepy.
Sorry for the rambling and don't think I'm out to scold you or anything, because that's not the case. As I wrote above, I know exactly how you feel.
This is a good question and I think it can serve as an example of a very important issue that we have to address. I think you should answer the following question with the utmost honesty: Would it be weird if you bought her a pair of gloves? If the answer is yes, then don't do it. Seriously.
The fact is that we have a glove fetish and this is a *sexual* feature of our personality. We must respect other peoples limits in this regard. If we want other people to accept us and our sexuality, we have to accept them and their sexualty as well. We are sexually triggered by gloves, and this is not our fault and there is nothing wrong with it. However, people have boundaries, just as we have boundaries, and if we do not respect other peoples boundaries, then we are violating them. That is the truth. When we become lustful in the moment, for a lack of better words, we tend to blind ourselves to the truth. We commit wishful thinking and we fantasize. Under certain circumstances we can act out our sexuality, but in general we can't. Nobody can. I know exactly how you feel, and I've been in similar situations before.
I look at it like this. I'm not a gay man, but I accept gay men. Yet I do not want to have a gay man violate my boundaries. In the same way, if I want other people to accept me, then I also have to accept them. It's a trade off.
We have to be decent. We have to exercise your social faculties and figure out what is appropriate in the given situation. If you sincerely believe that there is a mutual sexual desire here, and this may be the case, then go ahead and buy her some gloves and start a flirt. However, if this is not the case, then drop it - do not use your friend to satisfy your sexual needs. Using other people to satisfy your lust is also known as "being creepy". Don't be creepy.
Sorry for the rambling and don't think I'm out to scold you or anything, because that's not the case. As I wrote above, I know exactly how you feel.
- Rommeltje
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Re: Should i give her some new rubber gloves?
I wanted to reply, but z334 already said it perfectly.
- sissygloves
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Re: Should i give her some new rubber gloves?
I have to agree with z334. If she has already said she doesn’t care about the condition of the gloves I would probably leave it alone. Most people today see gloves as a pain anyway. Very few see them as a good thing anymore. Kinda like masks. Some people make an effort not to wear them but other will never go out without one again.
In other words if she wanted a new pair she probably would have gotten them already. Makes no sense to me either why people use old broke gloves but they might choose to do something else we wouldn’t even think about also.
Like my self i change oil in a button down shirt. I do a lot of chores outside in button down shirts or pearl snaps, never in a t shirt. Most don’t know why it’s just personal choice. Yes the shirts are old so it doesn’t matter.
I also never wear PJ’S or sleep wear. I do not find it comfortable at all. Just person preferences. Sorry for the ramble my self also.
I will say I understand the feeling as well. There are actually some people who can’t wear anything on their hands not even jewelry. I find I’m the opposite I am happier wearing gloves on my hands than not but that is a personal preference. I also know I have always been like that. I hate using sanitizer or lotion but everyone else finds that normal to just use that instead of gloves.
In other words if she wanted a new pair she probably would have gotten them already. Makes no sense to me either why people use old broke gloves but they might choose to do something else we wouldn’t even think about also.
Like my self i change oil in a button down shirt. I do a lot of chores outside in button down shirts or pearl snaps, never in a t shirt. Most don’t know why it’s just personal choice. Yes the shirts are old so it doesn’t matter.
I also never wear PJ’S or sleep wear. I do not find it comfortable at all. Just person preferences. Sorry for the ramble my self also.
I will say I understand the feeling as well. There are actually some people who can’t wear anything on their hands not even jewelry. I find I’m the opposite I am happier wearing gloves on my hands than not but that is a personal preference. I also know I have always been like that. I hate using sanitizer or lotion but everyone else finds that normal to just use that instead of gloves.
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Re: Should i give her some new rubber gloves?
there's a fine line between being helpful neighbor and,well,"creepy"...you know how girls overthink as to overreact.
if u wanna try (and think twice before doing so) - offer her a brand new pair (sealed in package),and tell her your annoyed a bit that shes using a broken pair..and that gloves SHOULD protect your hands,without holes and shit.
that way you are being a good guy,trying to help,and not stating any clue of fetish or anything man&women&gloves related...
if u wanna try (and think twice before doing so) - offer her a brand new pair (sealed in package),and tell her your annoyed a bit that shes using a broken pair..and that gloves SHOULD protect your hands,without holes and shit.
that way you are being a good guy,trying to help,and not stating any clue of fetish or anything man&women&gloves related...
- sissygloves
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- Someguy
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Re: Should i give her some new rubber gloves?
If you really want to give her a pair of gloves, if anything just so she's not using a pair of damaged gloves, I'd say maybe get a new pair next time you're buying for yourself, offer them to her by saying you were at the store buying a new pair for yourself and just decided to get her some as a neighborly gesture. Most likely she'll be very thankful for the gesture. As to whether she actually wears them or not, that's on her, but just don't push her to wear them or try them on or anything. Do it just because you want her hands to be protected and for good karma.
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Re: Should i give her some new rubber gloves?
I'll add the following with the caveat I do not disagree with any of the above. It's in the interest of adding an additional thought. You said "friend" not just neighbor. I'm assuming you know this person beyond a common hello at the mailbox. Even if it's "quirky" it may not be seen as weird or overbearing if you have a relationship with the person. I have developed a couple such relationships back in college days of ladies who knew that gloves were a trigger although I never had a relationship with them. I continue the friendship with them over 20 years later (no, gloves are not a part of the friendship). Secondly, is it an issue for you if she is weirded out and cuts off ties. Then the risk/benefit is too great and I wouldn't do it. I guess in my opinion it's a balance of being able to read people. I've never had it backfire on me although I play my cards wisely. Good luck, hope in the end you find happiness.